By Joe Pantorno
Everyone and their mothers do predictions, so who am I to miss out on all the fun?
I'll keep track of my dismal record. I tend to over-analyze and make a fool of myself in all sorts of office pools and fantasy games.
Bills @ Saints
"There will be domination, it will be ugly, Drew Brees will put up gaudy numbers," a lot of people will say. While the Saints will win, it won't be as lopsided as I think many expect. The Bills are missing EJ Manuel, odd enough to say, but a team in a tough division like the AFC East that needs to find its bearings needs continuity. Losing their QB obviously doesn't help. Saints win by two touchdowns, almost treating this like a trap game.
Who Dat 35 Boofalo 21
Browns @ Chiefs
Chiefs? 7-0? Well make it 8-0. They could lose next week to the Bills, maybe some complacency creeps in, but it won't be this week, and that's another prediction for another day. Alex Smith is a winner and he's smart. The Browns don't possess any of the assets needed to rattle him. Jason Campbell gets the start for Cleveland as the team has finally seen enough of Brandon Weeden, at least for a half. Who knows? Campbell could go out there and look like he should be playing for Seaford High School. Either way, Chiefs roll.
KC 21 Dawg Pound Nation 7
Cowboys @ Lions
Hey guys, it's America's team! They're first in the NFC East! Cue the ESPN fan-fare! Cue the triumphant looking Troy Aikman in the press box! Cue all the shots of a smiling Jerry Jones! Cue the talks of Tony Romo being a Hall of Famer! Cue a gut-wrenching loss to the hands of Detroit and all the Cowboys fans wanting to jump out a window! Detroit is coming off a tough loss to Cincinnati where they played a very good Bengals team tough. Dallas comes off a win against an NFC East team...so that doesn't count as anything much. It'll be close and it'll be fun. Lots of offense hopefully.
Lions? 34 'Boys 31
49ers @ Jaguars (Wembley Stadium, London, UK)
The Jaguars are giving away home games to play on another continent. For Jacksonville fans, I don't think they care that much. The pitch at Wembley has provided its fair share of problems to American Football players, so we might have plenty of mistakes, especially for a running side like San Francisco and an inept side like the Jaguars. Low scoring, headaches galore. At the end of the day, the Jaguars remain winless, despite a scare.
San Fran 17 Jags 10
Dolphins @ Patriots
The Patriots can't lose. They just can't. They're angry, coming off a loss...and Bill probably spanked Tom in front of the team just to set an example. It'll be scary, Ryan Tannehill will have a nice game, but something will happen to give the Patriots the game. Then all will be right in the world and Jets fans will be saying things like, "see? You always get the calls, too." And I'll just want to slap them both.
Pats 27 Dolphins 23
Giants @ Eagles
I don't know anymore. Maybe the Giants turned a corner. Have the taste of winning on their lips and are lusting for blood. Or they'll come out and lay an egg. Either way, this game is going to be ugly. Philly needs to just ride Shady McCoy until he gives out and the Giants have to work on playing mistake-free football. They got lucky last week. They won't be against the Eagles. Too many skill players.
G-Men 17 Fly Eagles Fly 14
Jets @ Bengals
"BUT WE BEAT THE PATRIOTS!" Every Jets fan will scream after a loss to the Bengals. I like this Cincinnati team, they're onto some big things very soon. Playing the Jets won't be easy, and Geno might give a solid defense some minor problems, but nothing too crazy. The Bengals will learn from the mistakes they made last week against the Lions. The defense will stiffen back up and force a few turnovers against a young quarterback. That win last week against New England won't mean absolutely nothing, but the Jets will drop another game back after this week. IF they win however, this will be a team that believes. And you never want to play a team with that.
Cincy 27 Gang Green 14
Steelers @ Raiders
What used to be the greatest rivalry of the '70s is nothing more than a boring sounding game today. Steelers coming off a big win against Baltimore to get to two games within .500. Raiders were beaten soundly by the Chiefs. I go with the team that's feeling better about themselves this week.
Black & Gold 17 Oak Town 6
Redskins @ Broncos
Hey guys, RG III is back. Of course I benched him after five bad weeks of fantasy, so he comes out and has a monster game. Tough stretch for the Redskins having to take on the Bears and now the Broncos. Denver coming off that loss to Indy will not be a happy bunch and Peyton will be looking for redemption. Unfortunately the frustration will be taken out on the Redskins secondary. Hooray high scoring games!
Orange Crush 38 Am I allowed to call them Redskins? 20
Falcons @ Cardinals
I'll forever be mad at the Falcons for losing to the Jets and ending my hopes of winning a suicide pool. Once this team has a head coach and a quarterback that can win big games, the Falcons will be wonderful. I mean, they're playing the Cardinals this week, so this game is winnable, but who knows? Maybe Mike Smith will kick the ball off if they win the toss in overtime. And they'll miss Julio Jones. I don't think it'll get that far. Falcons win, but I'm still mad at them.
Dirty Birds 21 Cardinals 13
Packers @ Vikings
If the Giants can beat the Vikings, anyone can beat the Vikings (except for the Jaguars...they can't). Green Bay is without Jermichael Finley, hope everything is okay with him. That was scary last week. Aaron Rodgers will have a field day, the Vikings will be stubborn and try and get Josh Freeman into this offense, even though I think Christian Ponder can be a very good NFL quarterback. Packers in a laugher.
Pack Attack 35 Purple People Eaters 10
Seahawks @ Rams (MNF)
So the Rams called up Brett Favre, huh? They're that desperate. That's all you need to know...seriously.
Ricky Running Watters 31 Greatest Show On Turf 7
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